It’s crazy how lonely one can feel in a city full of people. Even though I haven’t travelled as far as, say, the international students, I still feel a real sense of isolation every morning. Being the first in my family to go to college, I was completely unprepared for everything that was about to be thrust upon me: shopping for myself, cooking alone in the kitchen without the noise and chaos caused by my siblings, having to reconsider whether or not I have enough money for that bar of chocolate. All these new choices and ways of living serve to highlight how alone I am here.
Now don’t get me wrong; I have met some wonderful, and crazy fun people. My housemates are incredibly sweet and thoughtful, the Trinity Halls team and residents are incredible fun, and I’ve recently started dating this guy who is everything I could ask for. I should be happy. But I’m not.
I miss waking up to the sound of my mother getting ready for work. I miss the way my dog would greet me every time we let him out of his kennel every morning. I miss the sense of safety and community I would feel walking down the streets of my home town. You don’t get that kind of feeling in Dublin. Everything and everyone is so anonymous and impersonal. I feel like just a ghost watching everything pass by without anyone seeing me.
I’m not writing this for you to pity me. I’m writing for anyone else who feels the way I do, and there has to be someone. I hope that by writing this, I make someone feel a little less alone. I know how you feel. And somehow, we are going to be okay.