How to hide your drink at TBall

If you prefer more than expensive standard lager, smuggling in booze is the only alternative

Trinity Ball is a musical dish best served with some form of alcohol. Of course, there are those who refuse to believe that one needs to drink to have fun at these types of event, and more power to them. However, for the majority of the student population, it is an opportunity to get dressed to the nines, strut to campus and celebrate the end of another year of hard work by enjoying some well-earned pints with friends.

Of course, there are plenty of stalls set up to provide you with as many pints as you wish, but that might not be enough for someone whose alcoholic preferences are a little more medicinal. The only other option, then, is to hide a naggin or two in one of the many nooks and crannies on campus. This is easier said than done though, so it is better to draft a precise plan to smuggle the sauce into the party instead of dumping it anywhere and hoping it isn’t stolen or confiscated by the men in the yellow vests.

“The best way to get inside information is to become friendly with someone on the Ents Committee.”

A good place to start is to familiarise yourself with a map of the event locations. The stages and other installations are usually restricted to the Western side of campus, not going past the Museum Building or Aras na Phiarsaigh, so make sure you don’t plant your booze in a place from which it will be impossible to retrieve later. Also, try to find out where the restroom facilities will be situated; you don’t want your drink to be hidden there either, for obvious reasons. In fact, the best way to get inside information is to become friendly with someone on the Ents Committee.

This useful, albeit completely superficial friendship, can have other benefits too. Your new best friend may be able to conceal your elixir in the Ents Office, the GMB, or elsewhere. They might even give you exclusive access to more alcohol, possibly turning a good night into a great one. However, Ents Committee members are incredibly crafty and mischievous, and may end up stealing your drink for their own pursuits, so tread carefully.

“Serious fitness fanatics will be under a strict drinking ban by their coach, so on the whole, the gym may be a good shout.”

If you wish to take matters into your own hands, there are still plenty of hiding spots around College where your booze is sure to be left untouched. As it is March, many of those who made New Year’s resolutions to exercise more frequently have probably thrown in the towel, so the Sports Centre is a lot quieter these days. Serious fitness fanatics will be under a strict drinking ban by their coach, so on the whole, the gym may be a good shout. You could also try stashing your drink in other places which are virtually deserted, such as the Academic Registry or Provost’s Office.

If you think that all this seems like a lot of work, not to mention a huge risk, then don’t worry; as mentioned earlier, there will be plenty of vendors at TBall who will be more than happy to cater for your alcoholic needs. It is also important to know your limits; there is nothing more humiliating than being dragged out by security in a tuxedo or ball gown before gracing Nassau Street with your dinner from earlier that night. However, if you feel it necessary to bring your own brew from home, hopefully this guide has given you some guidance on how best to go about it.

Cameron Hill

Cameron Hill

Cameron Hill was the Sports Editor of Trinity News for Michaelmas 2018. He is a Senior Fresh English Literature and French student.