Butter me up: Day Five of a week of Buttery breakfasts, lunches and dinners

Ben McConkey and Peter Benson reach the day of reckoning as their challenge comes to an end

The day of reckoning. The feast of trumpets, only there was no feast. On our fifth day of the Buttery, we’d had enough.

Day Five

What did we eat?

  • 2 item hot breakfast (hash browns and mushrooms)
  • 2 item hot breakfast (hash browns and eggs)
  • Apple
  • Porridge w/ honey and cinnamon
  • Vegan sausage roll w/ chips and veg
  • Cream of mushroom soup
  • Manhattan popcorn
  • Orange
  • Chocolate biscuit cake slice

How much did it cost?

  • €12.05

How was it?

Hot item breakfasts have become reliable friends. Someone to turn to; you can always count on them to get you out of a hungry morning. Major takeaway is that the porridge is a viable alternative to the cooked breakfast and should not be disregarded. 

That being said, today warrants two Paddy Ps out of five on the Prendergast scale in light of sold-out-gate (more on this to come), although the blame was not entirely on the Buttery. 

As you may have correctly guessed, the porridge and hot items were where it stopped for Peter on this fateful final day.

How are we?

Painful mostly. After arriving on-time to collect his lunch AND dinner, Peter was stricken by solemn news: “Sorry love, we’re sold out of hot food, I’m afraid.”

“Do you really love me?” Peter’s mind asked as he thought about the hunger he was about to endure. But what choice did he have? Trinity News Food and Drink Editor Alfie Fletcher and the entirity of Trinity’s student body were relying on his unwavering dedication to the sciency, Buttery cause and so he could do naught but proceed.

He moped out of the Buttery with a packet of Manhattan Popcorn, an orange, a chocolate biscuit slice, and a broken heart. 

Ben, being the stellar man that he is (Peter, you’re far too kind) went out on a limb and offered up his only remaining vegan sausage roll for his ally who had fallen victim to a lazy day. The pair were forced to ration their food in order to survive. They nibbled only on a snack at 3pm and ate nothing else until 00:00 when the challenge was up. It was a gruesome nine hours and we lost many friends along the way.

Peter suffered an aggressive bout of dearth-of-food-induced delirium and fell asleep across a couch on Pearse street. 

The pair survived, but their saving grace was not the Buttery food, it was the superhuman, unsung heroes that are the delivery drivers of Dublin City. As the clock struck midnight, two piping hot pizzas entered their gullets and were never seen again. 

What did we learn?

God bless the Buttery Canteen of the Covid-19 pandemic. For €95.37, two fully grown men (weird flex, I know) were able to eat three meals a day over the course of five working days and not have to worry about dirty dishes or cooking. Not only was this a reasonably modest price to pay, we saved a lot of time that was well spent on music loops, dressing up as Penguins, and tennis tournaments. 

Credit where credit is due to the Buttery Staff and the half-price-using-TCard service they are operating. May this endure for generations.

Throughout the week, the food was of a very reasonable standard given the humble price we were paying. Although, it needs to be said that this challenge would not be worth the money if one had to pay full price. There was also only one vegetarian option on several days during the challenge and this was always the option which sold out fastest. If we were advising the Buttery on their menu, we would recommend including one more vegetarian option on a more regular basis in order to cater to the growing demand for vegetarian food.

If you’ve made this far, and we’re frankly flattered if you have, we’d like to thank you for reading our Buttery Tales and hope you too are feeling well and truly buttered up!

For the final time,

Buttery Teeth!