Lá Fhéile Vailintín, an t-am seo den bhliain a mbíonn daoine singil ag dul i ngleic lena stádas caidrimh a chosaint. Tá an saol singil á léiriú ag na meáin mar ghlantóir a chaithfidh muid a fhulaingt go dtí go bhfaighimid ár gcomhghleacaithe anam. An gceapann tú gur ró-áibhéil é sin? Fuarthas amach i staidéar a rinneadh in 2008 go mbreathnaítear go coitianta ar dhaoine singil mar dhaoine míshásta. Mar sin féin, tacaíonn go leor taighde eolaíoch leis na buntáistí meabhrach agus fisiceach a bhaineann le bheith i do dhuine aonair. Is minic go mbíonn na buntáistí seo faoi scáth sprioc deiridh na sochaí ‘socrú síos’. Is féidir le caidreamh gan bhrí a bheith temptach, tugann sé féiniúlacht dúinn a thugann foscadh dúinn ó chuid de na steiréitíopaí diúltacha a bhaineann le daoine singil ar nós daoine díomhaoin, santach nó neamhtharraingteach. Ná uaimh an Fhéile Vailintín seo agus ná bíodh imní ort mar gheall ar a bheith i gcaidreamh le bheith singil amháin. Má bhíonn tú sa siopa app ag déanamh díospóireachta maidir le Tinder and Hinge a athshuiteáil, srian leat féin agus smaoinigh ar na hocht mbuntáiste seo a bhaineann le bheith singil!
1) Forbairt phearsanta:
Mothaíonn daoine singil níos nasctha leo féin. Agus iad muiníneach agus féin-leordhóthanach, ní bhíonn eagla orthu rudaí nua a thriail nó forbairt mar dhaoine mar níl eagla ar bith orthu roimh éirí as nó duine suntasach eile a chailliúint mar thoradh ar athrú dá leithéid. Tríd an dóigh le ham a chaitheamh leat féin a fhoghlaim, aimsíonn tú na rudaí a thaitníonn leat, nach dtaitníonn leat, na bunluachanna agus na bunchreidimh, ag tógáil bonn láidir do do mhothúchán féin. Go híorónta, is minic a mheallann coincheap láidir féiniúlachta comhpháirtithe ionchasacha. Tá féindóthanacht do dhaoine singil nasctha le mothúcháin dearfacha ach i gcás lánúineacha pósta, bíonn doicheall ag baint le féindóthaineacht as a bheith ag faire amach dóibh féin.
2) Taisteal:
Saor ó ghealltanais rómánsúla is é an domhan oisrí duit. Nuair a bheidh na socruithe riachtanacha déanta agat leis an obair agus leis an teaghlach tá tú saor chun ceann scríbe a roghnú agus clár taistil aisling a chruthú gan mianta nó riachtanais comhpháirtí a chur san áireamh. Le pléisiúr pinned, cad faoi ghnó? Bhuel, agus an tsaoirse chun taisteal áit ar bith ag am ar bith tá réimse deiseanna oibre agus gairme ar fáil duit. Má fhaigheann tú post thar lear ní gá duit aghaidh a thabhairt ar an rogha dhúshlánach saol do pháirtnéirí a dhíspreagadh chun do bhrionglóidí a leanúint nó iad a fhágáil sa bhaile chun briseadh síos olc a bheith agat.
3) Saoirse rómánsúil:
Cé go bhfuil sé seo soiléir go leor, is coincheap athnuachana den sórt sin í an tsaoirse rómánsúil. Ag glacadh leis nach bhfuil tú i gcaidreamh oscailte caithfidh tú srian a chur ar an gcaoi a n-iompraíonn tú féin agus a idirghníomhaíonn tú le daoine eile ar oícheanta amuigh. Nuair a bhíonn tú singil go nádúrtha is féidir leat suirí le hábhar do chroí agus glacadh le haon dátaí agus taitneamh a bhaint as tú féin, bíodh sé ina dhinnéar agus ina scannán nó ina chaife agus ag spaisteoireacht saor ón mbrú a bhaineann le caidreamh a bheith agat.
4) Tosaíocht a thabhairt do chaidrimh eile:
I gcaidreamh fadtéarmach, éiríonn tú mar aonad, ceadaíonn a bheith singil duit freastal ar do chaidrimh féin mar dhuine aonair ag cruthú agus ag cothú naisc níos doimhne le do chairde agus le do theaghlach De réir taighde is gnách go mbíonn raon níos éagsúla cairde ag na daoine singil. agus níos mó cairde a mheasann siad a bheith gar dóibh.
5) Caitheamh aimsire:
Ní gá duit a bheith buartha faoi do pháirtí nach bhfuil ag iarraidh a bheith páirteach leat, nó an foircneach eile ina sáraíonn siad do chaitheamh aimsire go dtí an pointe nach é do nideoige é a thuilleadh. Más mian leat do pháirtí a bheith páirteach ann is minic go mbíonn brú ort caitheamh aimsire dá gcuid féin a ghlacadh ar ais. Nuair a bhíonn tú singil bíonn an rogha agat dul i mbun do chaitheamh aimsire i d’aonar nó cara a thabhairt leat gan trácht ar conas is féidir leat oiread ama agus is mian leat a chaitheamh air.
6) Neamhspleáchas iomlán:
Ar ndóigh, ní fhágann aon chaidreamh sláintiúil neamhspleáchas iomlán uait ach nuair a dhéanaimid iarracht a bheith ina gcomhpháirtithe tuisceanach agus neamhleithleacha is minic nach mbíonn aon chaint ag súil le cad is féidir linn agus nach féidir linn a dhéanamh, cá háit a dtéann muid agus cé leis a gcaitheann muid ár gcuid ama. Fágann neamhspleáchas gur mó an seans go nglacfaimid rioscaí. Is féidir leat maireachtáil níos fíre mar ní gá duit tuairimí do chomhpháirtithe a mheas nó conas a rachadh do roghanna i bhfeidhm orthu. Sa chiall seo tá sé beagnach cosúil le bheith i gcaidreamh ag lorg cead do thuismitheoirí nuair a bhí tú óg.
7) Sochair airgeadais:
Is féidir le dul chun bheith ina chostas mór; déantar gach béile, caife agus turas siopadóireachta faoi dhó sa phraghas. Agus tú singil, ní hamháin go bhfuil tú ag gearradh do chostais ina dhá leath ach bíonn níos mó ama agus fuinnimh agat freisin chun barr feabhais a chur ar do ghairm bheatha nó obair part aimseartha ar ioncam breise.
8) Buntáistí sláinte:
Go ginearálta bíonn stíl mhaireachtála níos struchtúrtha i gceist le bheith i do shingil, ní chuireann gnáthamh pearsanta na gcomhpháirtithe isteach ar do sceideal codlata, gnáthamh aclaíochta agus aiste bia a chuirfeadh isteach ar do shaol a d’fhéadfadh cur isteach ar ghnéithe do folláine, mar shampla d’fhéadfá fanacht suas go han-déanach mar gur mhaith leat caitheamh am le do pháirtí a mbíonn easpa codlata mar thoradh air nó b’fhéidir gur nós leat a bheith ag brath ar bhia beir leat mar go ndéanann do pháirtí. De réir staidéir a fhaigheann daoine colscartha níos mó aclaíochta ná daoine pósta, ina theannta sin, is iad na daoine is gníomhaí iad siúd a bhí singil i gcónaí.
Tá an saol singil ag éirí níos gnáth sa tsochaí. Thuairiscigh líon méadaitheach daoine fásta óga go bhfuil siad singil, go bhfuil fonn orthu socrú síos níos déanaí sa saol nó nach bhfuil ar chor ar bith. Bhí tosaíochtaí ag 67% de dhaoine idir 18-29 bliain d’aois a chuir brú ar phósadh agus leanaí a bheith acu.
Seo ar fad á rá, cén fáth cur amú an ócáid? Tóg amach tú féin nó má tá cara agat atá singil téigh ar rendezvous platonach. Ceannaigh bosca seacláidí duit féin agus bain sult as an bhfíric nach gcaithfidh tú do leannán a throid ar son na cinn is deise. 😉
As Bearla/ In English
Valentines, the time of year where single people bicker and brawl to defend their relationship status. The single life is portrayed by the media as a purgatory we must endure until we find our soul mates. Think that’s an over exaggeration? A 2008 study found that single people are commonly perceived as unhappy by others. However, much scientific research backs the mental and physical benefits to being a lone wolf. These benefits are oftentimes overshadowed by the societal end goal of ‘settling down’. A meaningless relationship can be tempting, it gives us an identity which shelters us from some of the negative stereotypes associated with single people such as indolent, selfish, or unattractive. Don’t cave this Valentines and fall victim to being in a relationship solely to avoid being single. If you find yourself in the app store debating to re-install Tinder and Hinge, restrain yourself and consider these eight benefits of being single!
1) Personal growth:
Single individuals feel more connected to themselves. Armed with confidence and self-sufficiency they aren’t afraid to try new things or to develop as people because the fear of outgrowing or losing a significant other as a result of such change is completely absent. By learning how to spend time alone, you discover your likes, dislikes, core values and beliefs, building strong foundations for your sense of self. Ironically a strong notion of identity tends to attract potential partners. Self-sufficiency for singletons is linked to positive emotions whereas in the case of married couples, self-sufficiency harbours resentment for having to fend for themselves.
2)Travel:
Free from romantic commitments the world is your oyster. Once you have made the necessary arrangements with work and family you are free to choose a destination and create a dream itinerary without taking the desires or needs of a partner into account. With pleasure pinned, what about business? Well, with the freedom to travel anywhere at any time a realm of work and career opportunities is available to you. If you land a job abroad, you don’t have to face the challenging choice of uprooting your partners life to chase your dreams or leave them at home to most likely have a nasty break up down the line.
3)Romantic freedom:
Although this is quite obvious, romantic freedom is such a refreshing concept. Assuming you aren’t in an open relationship you have to restrict how you behave and interact with others on nights out. When you are single naturally you can flirt to your hearts content and accept any number of dates and enjoy yourself be it dinner and a movie or a coffee and stroll free from the pressure of being in a relationship.
4)Prioritising other relationships:
In a long term relationship, you become a unit, being single allows you to attend to your own relationships as an individual forming and maintaining deeper connections with your friends and family According to research those who are single tend to have a more diverse range of friends and more friends they consider themselves to be close with.
5)Hobbies:
You don’t have to worry about your partner not wanting to join you, or the other extreme where they override your hobby to the point where it no longer is your niche. If you want your partner to join in there is often a pressure to take on a hobby of theirs in return. When you are single you have the option to engage in your hobbies alone or to bring a friend along not to mention how you can devote as much time as you wish to it.
6)Complete autonomy:
Of course, no healthy relationship strips you completely of autonomy but when we try to be considerate and selfless partners there are often unspoken expectations of what we can and can’t do, where we go and who we spend our time with. Autonomy makes us more likely to take risks. You can live more authentically as you don’t have to consider your partners opinions or how your choices would affect them. In this sense being in a relationship is almost like running everything by your parents for permission when you were young.
7)Financial benefits:
Dating can rapidly become a hefty expense; every meal, coffee and shopping trip is doubled in price. When single not only are you literally cutting your expenses in half but you also have more time and energy to excel in your career or work on a side hustle for extra income.
8)Health benefits:
Generally being single entails a more structured lifestyle, your sleep schedule, exercise routine and diet are unaffected by a partners personal routine which would interfere with your life potentially compromising aspects of your wellbeing, for example you might stay up very late because you want to spend time with your partner resulting in sleep deprivation or you may form the habit of relying on takeaway because your partner does. According to a study divorced people get more exercise than married people, furthermore, people who are the most active are those who have always been single.
Single life is becoming more of a societal norm. An increasing number of young adults have reported being single, with a desire to settle down later in life or never at all. 67% of people between the ages of 18-29 had priorities which trumped marriage and having children.
All of this being said, why waste a perfectly good holiday? Take yourself on a date or if you have a single friend embark on a platonic rendezvous. Buy yourself a box of chocolates and relish in the fact that you don’t have to fight a significant other for the nicest ones. 😉
