Foley Out!

Fans call for editor’s head after TN footballing defeat

Fans were left enraged this evening after Trinity News suffered ignominy in the annual UT vs TN 5-aside match, the final score reading 12-5 in favour of the Student Union newspaper.

TN’s tactical plan to park the bus was ruined earlier this week when Conor McGregor broke said bus. The glorious independent newspaper thus had to improvise their tactics, and it showed early on as UT raced into a 2-0 lead.

However, a quick reshuffle at the back saw GSU President Shane Collins (whose official role in TN is still to be determined) pull off some stunning saves in goal, allowing TN to pull the game back to 2-2.

However, it began to look like Collins’ saves would not be enough, with mix-ups in the back line leading to UT taking a commanding 5-2 lead, only for some great pressing by Padraic Rowley and some lethal finishing from Michael Gilna pulling the score back to a surmountable 5-3 at half time.

The second half started cagily, with both teams trading goals to bring the score to 7-5. And yet, insurmountability was to follow, with yet more bad defending seeing 5 unanswered goals fly in for Kevin Keane’s journalistic mouthpiece, bringing the final score to 12-5.

Boos rang out at the final whistle, mostly coming from Editor Emeritus/GSU President Elect/protest junkie Oisin Vince-Coulter. When interviewed after the game, losing editorial candidate Rory O’Neill reflected on the mood of the camp by saying, “we just don’t think Michael has the skills to take the team forward. Or Niamh Lynch for that matter. In fact I’m declaring a coup – O’Neill for Editor for life, or maybe at least just one day.”

So the winners of the annual match has been decided for this year at least, and indeed at most; although the result remains unofficial at the moment until the World Anti-Doping Agency receives the result of suspicious UT drug test results.

Joel Coussins

Joel is a fourth year Philosophy student and Sport Editor for Trinity News.