Provost announces supplemental exam fees to be reintroduced

Patrick Prendergast announced the U-turn this morning

Provost Patrick Prendergast has announced that supplemental fees will be re-introduced at a new reduced cost of €449.99.

Prendergast, in an effort to avoid another PR disaster, avoided the media scrutiny this morning, instead choosing to relax in his penthouse before jetting off this evening to a far-flung corner of the world on an “alumni trip” with funds that definitely weren’t meant to be used for other purposes.

Instead, Paddy P’s chief lackey Chris Morash was sent out to defend the reintroduction of fees, saying “When you think about it, we’re taking this money to save you from wasting it otherwise. We’re looking out for you, and improving your education. The working class? What are they doing in Trinity?”

When asked for comment, TCDSU President Kevin Keane said: “Ah for fuck’s sake, please, I don’t want to do another occupation. I’ve had enough of the Trots to do me a lifetime.”

This article is satirical in nature – nothing in this article is based on fact or true events.

Niamh Lynch

Niamh was Editor of the 65th volume of Trinity News. She is a History and Politics graduate.