What is a host? Consecrated bread, the victim of a parasite, a large number of something, or an individual who entertains guests, whether that be by culinary means or general entertainment. Hosting, as with most other domestic activities, is still associated, almost exclusively, with women and mothers. It is easy for men to feel left out of the ritual of crafting and throwing such an event.This is a tragedy. Everyone can be a host:the Last Supper, Jay Gatsby’s extravagant soirees and Tsar Nicholas’s final ball. Men can, and have historically hosted, with a great deal of success!
The true meaning of the word ‘host’ cannot be explained without exploring the many facets of their role. It is not simply to greet, feed and bid farewell. In order to leave a lasting impression upon your guests, their bellies and their hearts, thoughtful attention to detail must be paid.
With the cost of living soaring, and the price of a night out with friends approaching levels of financial ruin for students, young people have been turning to hosting at home to avoid a hefty bill. Though the expense of a dinner party can often be surprisingly high, split among friends it is a very agreeable alternative to a night on the town, and one your bank account will thank you for.
The barefoot contessa herself put it beautifully, ‘When you acknowledge, as you must, that there is no such thing as perfect food, only the idea of it, then the real purpose of striving toward perfection becomes clear: to make people happy, that is what cooking is all about.’ Ina Garten’s words truly summarise what it is to be a host. Ultimately, a host takes pride and enjoyment in seeing people come together. Your guests appreciate that the food and entertainment provided is done in earnest, out of care and appreciation of their company, no matter how extravagant or casual it may be.
It is, however, easier said than done, so here is a ‘how to’ on all things hosting!
Pick a theme
To spice things up and make the evening even more entertaining, pick a type of cuisine or culture to explore. Japanese, Italian, Moroccan, there are hundreds of choices. Do your best to find authentic recipes from creators who know what they are talking about. Tik Tok, Instagram and BBC Good Food are great resources if you do not have ready access to cookbooks. If you don’t really care about what food you serve, just that everyone will eat it (including the picky eaters), your theme could be a colour or a season. You could even formulate a menu around your favourite show, featuring dishes that have popped up throughout the seasons. There are no rules here, though the importance of variety must not be understated. When looking back on dinner parties past, a central and varied theme to each one helps in distinguishing one meal from the next.
Prep
Few other things can set you up for success more than thorough preparation. Often beginning a couple of days before, this includes making lists, designing the meals with respect to your guests dietary requirements, arranging place settings, shopping for groceries and other necessary accoutrements and finally, physically preparing the meal. Chopping, sauteing, sauce making, washing, and peeling. My suggestion: enlist a sous chef. The bulk of the effort put into any dinner party is done in the days leading up to the event itself: anything you can prep beforehand, you should!
On the day
An early riser you must be, for an organised morning you must have. If, for example, your guests are due to arrive at 7.30pm, the hours before should be well organised. This needn’t be a stressful experience. If you get too worked up, or indeed are too overworked, by the time your guests arrive you will want to go to bed. The goal is not just to create an enjoyable evening for your guests, but also for yourself. Given the amount of time and effort a host puts in, it would be ludicrous for them to not take as much enjoyment out of it.
Make it your own
Whatever the evening may consist of – a dinner party, board game night, BBQ, an aperitif evening – it must be authentic. If the event is not injected with our own personality and style, it will not leave a positive impression nor will it be enjoyable for you. Pretending to possess certain airs and graces that you do not is exhausting. In addition to the expected tiredness you will feel once you bid farewell to your guests, coming back down to your own level, having spent an evening ‘faking it’, will leave you utterly depleted and unlikely to host again for a considerable period. If your guests do not feel a natural comfort in your home, they too will have to fake niceties and may think twice about accepting an invite in the future. Remember, it’s not that serious. If you are not someone who enjoys hosting an extravagant sit down dinner, then don’t. A board game night or simple drinks and nibbles may be more suitable, and ultimately more enjoyable.
Ask for help
If you yourself are not an experienced cook, enlist someone who is, or teach yourself some simple but tasty dishes. If you’re not skilled in the art of mixology, ask a friend who is. Rally your guests to pitch in and bring a course so you don’t have too much on your plate (pardon the pun).
Organise your entertainment.
Most dinner parties need not be overcomplicated with games or antics. The rare exceptions where I would suggest that they are absolutely necessary are New Years Eve and Halloween. These nights tend to stretch for much longer than your average dinner party, often extending into the early hours of the morning. Charades, apple bobbing, or guessing each other’s new year’s resolutions are all activities that people get really animated by. For any other evening, not affiliated to either of these occasions, a pub quiz or game of mafia are always crowd pleasers.
Most importantly, create a guest list of your nearest and dearest for your first few dinner parties, those who will not pay any mind to charred food or overly salted soup. Regardless of the food on your plate, people are what make a host’s job so rewarding. And for any guests out there, if the evening is not a potluck, or BYOB, please remember to never come empty handed. This I believe is one of the few and most important rules: appreciate your host!
To provide inspiration for when you next host, a sample menu like this is sure to leave your guests with full bellies and happy hearts
