“Mindfulness is simply allowing ourselves to be. While this might seem difficult given this generation’s inherent fear of being present, time and practice allow it to become muscle memory.”
Mindfulness: that buzzword we hear all the time yet, ironically, never really pay attention to. Do we ever consider what mindfulness might actually mean, or how it could work? For many of us, the first thing that comes to mind is meditation, or perhaps some sort of therapeutic intervention, which is understandable considering the amount of breathing techniques often prescribed: “breathe in for four and out for six” – you know the ones. Not to mention the self-help gurus with their tasks of noticing five things you see, four things you hear, and so on. Needless to say, these tools do have their role in mindfulness and work for lots of people. Still, they can also be intimidating, leading to an added pressure to perform. My belief is that true mindfulness can happen spontaneously, through curiosity, and without force – even a tiny amount of awareness can get the ball rolling. It doesn’t have to be super serious and involve checking into a two-week silent retreat somewhere in the middle of Kerry. Mindfulness is simply allowing ourselves to be. While this might seem difficult given this generation’s inherent fear of being present, time and practice allow it to become muscle memory.
In this technology-infested age, we have neglected the parts of ourselves that desperately need time to pause, slow down, and be still. We’ve slipped into the habit of giving that eager Duracell Bunny in our minds far too much power to run freely. And we constantly feed it with more and more stimulation. Just look around: we are practically married to our phones. We are more committed to these six-inch rectangular pieces of glass than to any of our lives’ passions. They follow us to the loo, they keep us company on the bus, they sleep with us in bed; heck, we can’t even go out for a nice candlelit dinner without them staring right back at us from the table! You would think that we’d grow tired of these weapons of mass distraction, yet we continue to give them the same attention we do to the clingy ex we know should just be blocked. And it’s not only our cellular devices that prevent us from being mindful – it’s pretty much anything that tempts us into distraction in our busy modern world. We are constantly rushing, trying to get ahead, comparing ourselves, or feeling pressure to do more and more and more. Do we ever intentionally try to get to know ourselves? Do we ever take heed of our thoughts, behaviours, or habits? Do we ever wonder whether our lives would improve if we understood our emotions better?
Practising mindfulness does not only bring more awareness to ourselves, but also to the humans and environment surrounding us. The more receptive we become to other people, the more connection we invite into our lives, which we can all agree is lacking in this digital era. My recent attempt at a “dopamine detox” is a prime example of this; instead of moving around hunchbacked or furiously typing with headphones on, I simply looked up. Low and behold on that first day of detox, three people on three separate occasions approached me asking for directions, which is rare – an almost non-occurrence for me. This sparked a moment of epiphany: maybe we have evolved to close ourselves off. Trapped in our little bubbles like hamsters on a wheel, we forget to open our eyes, our ears, and our minds to what’s actually happening in our physical and emotional worlds.
“And you don’t want to wake up one day when you’re 46 and wish you’d woken up at 24.”
Let’s look at a simple example of mindfulness: you might be sitting in the library and notice that your thoughts are wreaking havoc. Maybe you feel your jaw clenching, and wonder: “Am I stressed? What’s making me stressed?” Perhaps you’ll realise that you’re anxious about some little thing you said to someone six weeks ago, but this new awareness might help you catch that anxiety and let it go, because life moves on and so should we. You can see how it all unravels, and this can be applied to every area of your life. Although it isn’t merely about stopping or changing every thought; mindfulness involves noticing thoughts, observing them, and then choosing how to approach them. We don’t have to act on every thought or take it as the ultimate truth, we can just allow things to be exactly how they are in a given moment.
Remember – becoming present takes time. It can feel unnatural and onerous at first, but there is no grading system here; perfection doesn’t exist. Mindfulness is all about acceptance, so don’t let frustration pull you away. Why not start by simply creating space to be with yourself – ditch the AirPods on your journey to college, or hide the phone when eating lunch. I promise you will slowly begin to discover the wonderful art of noticing – awareness becomes addictive.
