Gen-Z are en route to becoming the most kinky and fantasy-heavy generation, and yet one that, according to recent research, seemingly also has sex the least. The kinky element doesn’t particularly shock me, as shame around sex has decreased significantly as religious purism fades. This comfort in one’s sexual desires, proclivities, and drives allows for a greater understanding of what one truly wants out of one’s sex life. In fact, despite having less sex than millennials, Gen X, and Boomers at the same ages, according to Talker Research, “Gen Z is the most satisfied generation when it comes to their sex life.”
It is also striking to note that monogamy, and the idealisation of monogamous relationships, is more popular than ever. In contrast to what the internet suggests about the steady rise and acceptance of polyamorous relationships, over 81% of Gen Z fantasised about monogamy, according to a recent Kinsey Institute study, and half of that group did so regularly. One probable reason for this would be that Gen X and Boomers tend to fantasise about the taboo nature of non-monogamy, or even explore it later in life as an outlet for pent-up dormant sexual desires that were formerly shunned but are now becoming normalised. Gen Z doesn’t feel the need to do this exploration and fantasy in the same way given that non-monogamy and open relationships are a fairly accepted practice in our generation, so the appeal of experiencing non-monogamy for the thrill has somewhat waned.
Other popular kinks seemed to thematically prioritise intimacy and connection, with continuing after climaxing topping the list. Given the necessary refractory cool down period, this seems to imply a form of foreplay but after sexual acts exists, and speaks to Gen Z’s desire to be close with their partner constantly, even outside of pure sexual pleasure. In fact, cuddling was reported by many as preferable to intercourse and ranked among the highest of intimate activities.
Activities of the luxury variety were also growing increasingly popular, such as sex on open-air balconies and in fancy hotel rooms. Many stated that at-home spa days, hotel bathtubs, and shower sex were some of the most turn-on friendly foreplay locations, and it’s not shocking. Luxury is a rarity, particularly for our generation given the cost of living crisis, and it’s common to associate different forms of pleasure with one another. The idea of pampering oneself, therefore, serves as both aesthetic and sexual pleasure for many.
“Gen Z’s favourite sexual positions also largely support this trend of increased intimacy and care in sex”
Gen Z’s favourite sexual positions also largely support this trend of increased intimacy and care in sex with their favourite sex positions being kneeling (74%), face-to-face (72%), and right angle (70%), all positions that emphasize physical closeness and vulnerability with a partner. The least popular were doggy style (53%), sixty-nine (52%), and anal (50%), ones that are often associated with novelty and trying new things in the bedroom.
The overwhelming majority of my friends (largely women or gay men) were somewhat abhorred by the idea of sex with video games in the background being a kink on the rise. One notable comment was: “Well I think we know who’s asking for that one”, indicating that this may be a popular choice for straight men — one that their partners may oblige — but it seemed to lack any real appeal for women (at least those I spoke to). Another friend noted the gross impracticalities of it. How does one focus on getting a victory royale mid-penetration?
“With the greater acceptance of one’s sexual desires and needs comes the disappearance of the novelty of kinky sex acts”
Other popular kinks were significantly on the outs in recent years, namely feet, latex, and roleplay. My conclusion for this would be that with the greater acceptance of one’s sexual desires and needs comes the disappearance of the novelty of kinky sex acts. This acceptance allows people to truly explore their desires, which may be far more grounded and interconnected with one’s life outside of sex and, in turn, the appeal of classic kink behaviours are waning.
“We’re a generation of freaks”
The general trend towards fantasy and kinkiness while actively having fewer sexual encounters could prove to be problematic, though. Gen Z has been exposed to the internet for most of our lives, which includes a plethora of information about sex positions, kinks, sex toys, and more — not to mention the ease of access to online pornography. With such easy access to all of this sexual education, we’re a generation of freaks. But many individuals coming into adolescence and young adulthood around the time of the pandemic lost the experience of practicing many social skills that help with establishing relationships (or even hookups), and so outside of the group that is satisfied with their sex lives, you have a massive group who are very much not satisfied.
