“Although it appears to give us unparalleled access to the lives of our college peers, we should ask ourselves whether the content we are seeing on our screens is authentic, and what consequences overindulgence in social media can have on our behaviour and peace of mind”
If there is one thing that most students rely on, it’s social media. It is often the centrepiece of many people’s social lives and is where we frequently stay informed about what our friends are doing through their stories and posts. Although it appears to give us unparalleled access to the lives of our college peers, we should ask ourselves whether the content we are seeing on our screens is authentic, and what consequences overindulgence in social media can have on our behaviour and peace of mind. Drawing on some personal experiences with my own social media journey, I hope to demonstrate why students should reassess their relationship with their online persona and how they view those of others, to hopefully make the social dimension of college life a more pleasant experience.
It’s no secret that social media has become the standard for setting social expectations, particularly among younger college students, who can be more impressionable while navigating the formative years of young adulthood. Students are endlessly encouraged to glamorise the college experience on social media for all to see, whether that means posting your library session on BeReal, updating your Snapchat story about your commute or uploading pictures of your night out to Instagram. It is all a self-fulfilling cycle designed to mainly capture the marketable parts of your life, signalling to all eager observers that this is what the college experience is all about.
“Combining the already immense stress of maintaining a personal, family, and academic life with the impossible standards set by social media, it is no wonder that college students experience a great deal of anxiety when it comes to how they are perceived online”
Combining the already immense stress of maintaining a personal, family, and academic life with the impossible standards set by social media, it is no wonder that college students experience a great deal of anxiety when it comes to how they are perceived online.
In January 2024, I made a conscious decision to finally take a step back from social media. It took some reflection to realise how negatively it was affecting me and my relationships with my peers. I began to feel as though every in-person interaction doubled as a photo opportunity, which contributed to a great deal of insecurity about my appearance and how I was being perceived.
This was when I had the most “friends” in my life, but felt equally detached from those people. My primary interactions with them were through an app, not in-person, which led to a feeling of imposter syndrome amongst people who I espoused to know well and “fit in” with. I knew social media was largely to blame for this vanity and shallowness I was feeling, which was inhibiting me from forming meaningful connections with people. I knew something had to change.
I committed to deleting all but one social media app from my phone, refrain from posting, and primarily use it as a means to organise in-person meetups while staying in touch with friends by messaging each other regularly. Since then, I can confidently say that my relationships with social media, my peers and myself have improved immeasurably.
The first thing I noticed was how liberating it was to place total emphasis on connection and communication, as opposed to the pseudo-closeness that we get from simply lurking on someone’s social media, trying to ascertain who they really are. In the weeks and months following my social media break, I found myself appreciating the authenticity of having genuine conversations and finding out about the people in my life who, up until that point, had only existed on a screen.
It also revealed a massive personal blindspot, my relative lack of good social skills for a then 20-year-old, and how much of the art of conversation I had yet to become familiar with. Forcing myself to develop this skill, though with much difficulty, has served me extremely well in my ability to communicate, foster new connections, and build on my existing friendships.
On the topic of friendship, a recent conversation with a good friend made me reflect on how close she and I have grown in the past year, despite the fact that we are no longer in the same academic year and often navigate in different social circles. It made me realise that we made the effort to develop and maintain the friendship as a consequence of the social media hiatus we took. Instead, the friendship is based on communication and being present with each other, not the tacit acknowledgment of a Snapchat story or Instagram post.
Of course, social media will always have a part to play in our lives as students in the modern world, which is why fostering a healthy relationship with these apps is essential in maintaining a balanced social life while remaining true to yourself.
The first step to building a healthy relationship is to limit your exposure to these apps. I found deleting them from my phone during the day or only checking them on a web browser to be an excellent deterrent. Alternatively, using app timers on your phone can make you more aware of the time you spend on them and encourage you to cut back.
When it comes to using social media, my advice would be to use it sparingly. However, if you choose to post, don’t sanitise your feed for the sake of conformity. Break the mould and post something uniquely you. Let it be a representation of your actual college experience, not the college experience you wish you had or one which you think will impress others.
Finally, whether you post actively or not, it is important to remember that social media is not a complete representation of who you really are. In keeping up with the online world, don’t forget to appreciate the unfiltered highs and lows of being a student. I hope that, with some time, you will thank yourself for living less through your phone and more in real life.
