To call sex-for-rent arrangements “frustrating” is so obvious that it is almost flippant to do so.
Recent coverage in the media has outlined the practice, whereby advertisement will either explicitly, or upon further enquiry, reveal that people are renting out rooms or beds with an expectation for sexual acts rather than monetary rent. However the practice varies, with some advertisements offering reduced rent in exchange for sexual activity, or offers of shared beds instead of a room.
The practice seems to exploit unclear legislation, with the practice, according to a 2022 report by the National Women’s Council, “not clearly a crime in Ireland.” Unfortunately for many, the recent reports of ‘sex for rent’ cases in Ireland will come as no surprise. Despite having only recently surfaced in the media, these offers are not novel; an investigation carried out by the Irish Examiner in late 2021 outlined advertisements ranging from a “friends-with-benefits” scenario, to “reduced rent for occasional fun.”
These offers reflect a number of elements that are sour in today’s society – they reflect a housing issue, an intimidation issue, and a safety issue. It goes without saying that to raise awareness of these cases is urgent; however, following years of campaigning for change, with a cycle of news reports, public outrage, followed by legislative silence, prospects for change seem slim. Awareness and education are one part of the process – however, the purpose of awareness is to instigate change, to further protections, and to fight for a better reality. Awareness without action undermines this process, leaving victims forgotten, and society stuck in a cycle of absent-minded repetition.
But most of all, awareness without action sets a precedent that, even with extensive media coverage, public anger, and cries for change – the perpetrator can continue with minimal recourse.
The push for governing these arrangements has been raised time and time again, and yet there is still no legal protection for tenants faced with such offers. However, what this discourse seems to imply is a quiet attitude amongst Irish society towards this kind of intimidation – almost that it does not go far enough to warrant immediate response, and that because there is the option to decline, or ignore such offers, that people can get away unscathed, relieving the problem of its urgency.
Tackling core issues of gender based violence and intimidation are – unfortunately – larger than they seem, with no quick or easy solution. However, this latest push for legislation addressing the issue – calls for which have been in place for the last five years, at least – offers the government an opportunity to dismantle and address a foundational part of this issue. In illegalising the option to offer sexual favours for rent, it slowly but surely starts to erode the foundation for general responses to these situations; one of dismissal, of victim-blaming, and shame. There are many pillars that build the foundation for gender based violence in Ireland – there is no root cause, with the finger of blame often more of a hindrance than help. Many small actions dismissed and ignored can help set an expectation for further action; seeing a ripple effect of people toeing the line of what is acceptable.
Stories of intimidation see no gender divide, with stories ranging in danger and hostility. Once, when walking across the O’Connell bridge, I was stopped midway by a man who appeared flustered and friendly.
However, our brief interaction quickly soured, as he grabbed a hold of my arm, and joked that he would happily bring me home with him though his wife would be unhappy, and asked for a bus fare. When I declined, starting to walk away, he turned icy, and screamed after me as I walked the length of the bridge, branding me a “selfish cunt.” Though this interaction was enough to leave me wary, an onlooker walking alongside me leaned in and whispered; “run”.
In truth, it was the second interaction that stuck with me more; whether it was an attempt to get me to laugh off the matter, or simply an ill-placed joke, his comment left me wondering firstly “would it have been so hard to ask if I was alright?” but perhaps more importantly, “why would you feel the need to add to this interaction?”
I would consider myself lucky that the interaction ended there, that I could continue my night, and now look back on it as simply a story to tell. However, it reflects a disjointed reaction which people can have when witnessing such interactions – one immediately forgotten, the subject of a funny anecdote, quickly dismissed and laughed over. This tension fits into a larger dialogue surrounding gender-based violence in Ireland – and emphasises what seems to be an overarching lack of urgency in the matter.
A motion on Gender Based violence proposed by People before Profit TD Ruth Coppinger saw her address a practically empty chamber, outlining the violent reality which women and girls face to a scattering of TDs, while victims and activists watched on from the gallery. While the motion was not being opposed by the government; the lack of attendance was disheartening. Attitudes towards gender based violence and intimidation are in need of an active change, so that they can evolve and better serve people in their everyday lives. There is a real danger that, with each passing week, the stories expressed by people who have faced gender based violence, or invitations for sexual acts in place of rent, will yet again be lost to time, waiting for the next time they will surface in the media, to be shone in the public eye, and forgotten once more. There is only so much that we can expect from a government – but the protection of those vulnerable in society ought to be the bare minimum.
The introduction of legislation to illegalise sex-for-rent arrangements would only address a fraction of the foundation on which gender based intimidation lies; however, it would establish a policy of non-tolerance for such matters, one to be further built upon, rather than brushed off as an anecdote to share in the future.
