Days like these, we agonise over our exams all day and all night. Or at least we do in theory, but your editors will be the first to admit that it can be difficult to focus when the daylight hours are shrinking and the nights beckon with opportunities to wander the halls, park, and underneath the Campanile, avoiding the murderous claws of what we should presumably have been studying during the day. That said, procrastination time is over. It’s time for us arts students to knock back a shot of espresso or three, queue up our upbeat recommended albums and take all our pent-up aggression out on a book (if you study business you can go murder an Excel spreadsheet or dissect a girl or something). After all, someone has to survive the finale. It might even be you (provided you follow our advice).
Finals advice: “Get up the first time your alarm clock rings. And coffee. Without a doubt solves all problems”.
Music rec: The Titanic Soundtrack – a very apt summary of my finals feels.
Finals advice: “Finals season not only marks the end of a semester, it’s also the final chapter of 2023. When I remind myself of this, I’m reminded of things greater than an exam where every minute counts. I think of ongoing things, gratitude, autumn to winter, the fallen leaf to frost. This awareness helps me find balance, wonder, and assurance in a time that wants my answer to everything asked.”
Music rec: Source to Sea, a trio of songs forming Julie Fowlis’ digital EP. Fowlis unites riverscapes, spoken word and melody.
Finals advice: “As an English major, I find comfort in knowing that the characters in the books we consume have it much worse. For instance, we could suffer consumption on the windy English moors or morph into a gigantic insect. Both of these fates would be terrible. Instead we just have to take exams, so I guess we should all just consider ourselves lucky. Also, you should summon a malignant spirit and promise the life of your firstborn child in exchange for a first.”
Music rec: When Fiona Apple said “I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag”, I really felt that. I see seagulls everywhere. What can I say, finals make me really paranoid.
“Follow our advice, channel good vibes through music, and begin studying yesterday”
New Trinity students should know that finals season indicates the Darwinian survival of the fittest. If you don’t adequately prepare for your exams, a dark fate awaits. Possible futures for failures such as yourself include a corporate job where your artistic talents are not recognised and you must shuffle papers around from 9am to 5pm before going home to four brats and a loveless marriage to an auditor with too many chin hairs, to eternal torture in a perpetually chilly and damp chamber underneath the RDS exam hall. We wouldn’t wish these destinies upon our worst enemies, which is why the arts and culture team urges you to follow our advice, channel good vibes through music, and begin studying yesterday.